You are the loneliest number

until you almost quit and then it’s lonelier is that possible you thought the others would help and that’s the plan but it’s not working – for you that is and Selection is what it is. it. is. what. it. is. I hate the event but I love the event it takes me back to Camp Mackall and those rocks and the feeling of walking on them in flip-flops I mean shower shoes with what was left of my feet that went through the meat grinder and oh but I love the people I met but I hate the destruction required and GORUCK Selection was never supposed to exist. Everything else we do is team-building and overwhelmingly positive as if Gaza were magically a Disneyland for the Middle East and peace and love for all and then some folks started saying The Challenge was too easy and we don’t have to do it that way and if you back us into a corner we’ll fight our way out just fine kind of deal and enter Selection.

Special attention is not a good thing. If you find yourself alone everything is going wrong and we’re looking at you because you’re weaker than the others and you won’t last long.

And when you’re last again there are consequence like more special attention and the mind can only take so much but we don’t just isolate you all at once we doll it out and sometimes it’s a team event as in everyone up so we can see who can’t do it and then we know.

And you grab your face with your hand in the inchworm.

So we drag it out a bit longer just because it’s not just about you and it. is. what. it. is. and that’s the deal.

Like I said special attention is not a good thing. If you find yourself alone again everything is going worse than wrong.

The mind can only take so much it has nothing to do with the overhead presses it has nothing to do with the push-ups or the flutter kicks or the any exercise nobody can do an infinite number of and everyone thinks we drop people from Selection but the truth is that everyone breaks meaning they say I quit because you can only take so much rinse and repeat of horrible for so long if you can only take so much rinse and repeat of horrible for so long.

And this is why I hate Selection and this is why I love Selection and not quitting is not enough but when you do there we are the same guys who were rooting for you, hoping you could last another evolution. And when you don’t my hope is that next time is your time and if you put the work in I know it will be and this is the most depressing ending of anything I’ve ever written until I tell you what was in my head for all of my Selection which is that other human beings have been here and they’ve done what’s being asked of me and I can do that too and so can you and if you actually believe that then you’ll be just fine and what happens happens and we’ll see ya there.