I ate the mistletoe, licked everyone in sight including women and children, destroyed all Santa’s presents, drank eggnog from the punch bowl and now you say I can’t carve the turkey?

Well, I say I’ve been a bad Monster all year and everyone loves me anyway so what’s the point of being good?

Merry Christmas and here’s to my way. To our way.

Love,
Monster
President, GORUCK Nation